Different perspectives, different priorities
I must admit that it's a challenge for me to accept certain practices. Recently, I mentioned to a sister employee that I was going to our office's Women's Tehillim (Psalms) Group. In response, she told me that she recited Tehillim every morning, but that, with so many sick people for whom to pray, it took her an hour. On the assumption that anyone who says Tehillim for an hour before going to work doesn't have time to say anything else, I couldn't help wondering why she considered it more important to recite psalms than to davven Shacharit (pray the Morning Service).
The Out of Step Jew had a few words to say on the same subject. See his Tuesday, June 21, 2005 post, "Not the Worst Thing."
The Out of Step Jew had a few words to say on the same subject. See his Tuesday, June 21, 2005 post, "Not the Worst Thing."
posted by Shira Salamone at 8:27 AM
7 Comments:
At the Limmud NY Conference 2014, I spoke to a sofer (scribe) about getting my tefillin repaired. He told me that women had quite enough mitzvot without wearing tefillin, which I was not surprised to hear from an Orthodox individual. What I *was* surprised to hear was that he seemed to be downright proud of the fact that his daughters almost never went to synagogue. I can understand why he would think that that was perfectly normal and acceptable for an Orthodox female. But I can't understand why he thought it was something to brag about.
I also recent had an interesting conversation with an Orthodox Jewish woman of my acquaintance. When I asked her a question regarding a recent parashah (weekly Torah/Bible reading), she said that she hadn't gone to synagogue and didn't know which parashah I was talking about. I found that interesting on two counts. First of all, I can't understand why it's considered perfectly normal and acceptable for a never-married, childless female who has no family responsibilities to skip going to shul most of the time. Don't many Orthodox people claim that the reason for women's exemption from time-bound mitzvot (commandments that must be performed at specific time) is precisely that their primary responsibility is to take care of their husbands and/or children? (That's a debatable reason, if you ask me, if only because it's not universally applied: Good luck trying to find rabbinic permission to be exempted from time-bound mitvot if you're a *guy*, such as a widower, raising young kids alone!) So what's a single and childless woman's "excuse"? Second of all, even if you're exempted from shul attendance and from Torah study, why wouldn't you *want* to read parashat ha-shavuah (the weekly Torah reading)? It's considered "pas nisht" ("it isn't done") for an Orthodox woman to pick up a Chumash?! Tell that to all the Orthodox women and girls who are now studying Gemara!
Your point is especially cogent since according to the Talmud women are obligated to say the Amidah twice a day. They don't have to say it in the normal time spans, but they do have to say it.
Orthodox women who look for sources rather than just say "It is what all the other women are doing" point to a ruling by the Magen Avraham that women are required to say some kind of prayer that includes elements of praise once a day, but he does not require them to say the Amidah.
This is another ruling that almost no posek of that time agreed with but was quickly adopted by the community at large.
I find it interesting that many in the current Orthodox community who claim to be so machmir (strict) in their interpretation of halachah and in their observance follow such a makhil (lenient) ruling. *This* is one of the practices--or lack thereof--that separate Chareidi women from observant Conservative women?! Sounds like a role reversal to me.
1) It's not a makil ruling. it's neither machmir nor makil. As every Orthodox Jew knows, we don't posken halacha from the Talmud and the Magen Avraham is one of the leading sources from which we do posken halacha.
2) Observant Conservative? There's an oxymoron. That group of people is probably less than 1000 (if you exclude the rabbis and cantors, and not all of those either).
3) I have heard of widowers with small children being told not to worry too much about zmanai tefillah and other time bound commandments. Perhaps if you actually knew Orthodox people, instead of your idealized (and fictionalized) version of orthodoxy, you'd have a much more nuanced view of life.
1) Sorry, still making up for my lack of a day-school education. I'll get the hang of this eventually.
2) Largely true, based on my personal experience, but there are a few.
3) Thanks for that information--it's good to know. You're correct in saying that, as a Conservative Jew, I don't know many Orthodox Jews on a personal, non-business-related basis.
There isn't much to get the hang of. There are disputes in the texts. People pick the ideals they want, find a Rav that generally agrees with them, then dismiss other approaches as "it just isn't done."
There is much more flowery language around it, but that's that.
Larry's point is well made. As a rule, the idea that we do what a posek tells us is counter-factual, generally people do what they want, the community follows a seeming emotional pull, and the Rabbi gets out in front of it with a source.
Once something becomes excepted, it becomes the norm, and a justification is created, regardless of textual justification.
"People pick the ideals they want, find a Rav that generally agrees with them, then dismiss other approaches as "it just isn't done."
. . .
"As a rule, the idea that we do what a posek tells us is counter-factual, generally people do what they want, the community follows a seeming emotional pull, and the Rabbi gets out in front of it with a source.
:)
Miami Al, that sounds suspiciously like Blue Greenberg's famous quote, "Where there's a rabbinic will, there's a halachic way."
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